Peri Menopause and Migraines

I woke with a migraine. It’s only been two weeks since the last one. I was annoyed as it did not ‘fit’ with my plan for the day. It especially did not fit into my work schedule for the day or the busy life I generally like to lead!

I took some pills and went back to bed with some healing binaural beats but I was too agitated to rest. I tried a bath next. I am currently chanting the Mahamrtyumjaya mantra for 1 hour a day as part of my daily practices so I began to chant while in the bath. I was still agitated telling myself all sorts of stories about not doing the mantra correctly. I had only just woken up, but I was surprised at the tension I noticed as I checked into my body.

Finally, after 30 minutes of chanting I began to settle and let go. I began to feel energy moving from my head to the base of my spine. The mind was still doing it’s own thing, as the mind is prone to do, but I found a separation from it. Then, I remembered this mantra is also one used for healing, so I felt into that power as well.

Half way through the chant, I felt called to leave the bath and finished my mantra on my mat in front of my altar (again…..technically not perfect practice but…..if I have learned anything in my years of showing up for myself, I also get to ‘make the rules’ around how I choose to show up.)

A pigeon began to tap on one of the high windows I have above my altar window…..yes one of my altars is a window ledge looking out to my garden. Again, I get to choose how I show up for myself! A pigeon had done the same thing on my kitchen window the previous day however, I had barely paid any attention to it. I tried to ignore it again but then I decided to stop and watch it. Google told me that pigeon spirit animal symbolises love, peace and harmony. Also, resilience, resourcefulness and an ability to find one’s own way. Sometimes associated with good luck and divine guidance. Well, I was up for that! Even though I did take a brief moment on my phone I was not too distracted. I returned to watching the pigeon, the leaves the sky…just lying on the floor. I believe my message from that pigeon was ‘you are still worthy even when lying on the floor with a migraine and watching me. Life was spectacularly, unfolding right in front of me. I had no other place to be except right there in that moment with the pigeon and the garden.

The pigeon drifted off and I returned to my softly playing music and my gentle body movement practice. This is often a go to for me in the mornings. Moving my body to music in whatever way she wants to move. This practice has been a staple of mine for around 5 years now and it has never failed me.

Suddenly, I was met with another part of myself. This has happened to me from time to time. For me these connections show us a visions in my imagination. I have now named her the ‘Are we there yet?’ part of me. I wish I could remember which teacher, or which book I have read that helped me solidify this practice, but I can’t. I wish to thank them thought for this fun way of looking at myself.

Anyway, Miss Are we there yet? was standing in my peripheral vision. She was checking her watch and tapping her foot. She was rolling her eyes at me as I moved to go even deeper into my practice instead of getting up and getting on with my day the way that she wanted me too. You all know her right? She is the bossy, demanding part of you that just wants to get shit done. She is short tempered, impatient, bossy and inflexible. Time is money people! She was letting me know that she wanted to be done with this spiritual wishy washy healing crap and get up and get on with life.

I love that part of myself. I even need her. I have listened to her A LOT in the past. I have totally and unequivocally burnt myself out listening to her in the past. I need her and she can even be super fun, but everything else was screaming at me to stop and take a moment. So, I chose differently. I rescheduled by 10am meeting and I surrendered into further flow and into self and processing whatever spirit, the universe, my body was showing me I needed to process. Everything was telling me it was time to go slow. To stop ignoring my needs.

Did my headache go away? Not completely but it improved, and I felt so much more grounded. I had also received this magical gift of meeting Miss “Are we there yet’ properly and understanding her and hence myself a little better.

The world often tells us we need to be busy, or doing something or achieving something in order to be worthy but I have discovered it’s just not true. Showing up for yourself. Stopping to watch the world unfold and noticing all that little magic is what is real and is what truly brings inner peace and calm. Don’t get me wrong I also like to ‘get shit done’ but it does not make me worthy.

A while ago I developed a “Good morning me” downloadable pdf which guides you into setting up your own morning practice. My practices have evolved and developed a lot over time but I still feel this pdf is a great way to start. You can get the download here: https://breathandbeyond.com.au/